We all have groups of people whether they are friend groups, community groups, church groups, or even family members. We love them, but they aren't always good for us to stay too close too.

I have always been a people pleaser. I love for people to be happy and get along. Shying away from drama that I can't solve has been my normal behavior.

Recently, I've encountered some situations that have made me wonder if there is a time to step away even though it's a good thing and good people, but right now it's not good for me. I'm not saying permanently, but some space might be healthy.


Being involved and lending a hand is my natural behavior. My family is having a big 50th birthday party this summer for my brother, and 2 cousins. I'm the one who helps get all the loose ends together that get overlooked. But, I am having a major difference of opinion with most of the family and they are trying to manipulate me to their way of thinking. I love discussion, but I have to draw back if their only motive is to manipulate me. Which has never been the way our family interacts.

I'm not one to miss events or get togethers. They are my favorite things and I thrive on seeing everyone. But, being manipulated to do what they want just because they want it is not only hurtful, but makes me feel it's time for a little distance. To keep going over the same thing is only going to prolong the issue and hurt our relationship in the long run.


I am involved in a community of entrepreneurs and again I Iove to be involved and help in many aspects of the community. I have gleaned so much from many people in this community and it has changed my life and my business. This community has had such a big impact on me I love giving back and helping others experience it and get the most out of it.

That being said there are still times I can get so involved and engrossed in the community it can overwhelm my senses and my life. I have come to realize too much of a good thing is sometimes too much. I let myself get to the point I am so absorbed in it my emotions get out of whack and then I can't work or be effective at all.

I find it hard to pull back, but also a tad refreshing to just step back a little and take a breather. A small break so I can go back and be even more effective with my intentions.

As much as I enjoy being in the middle of everything I have realized stepping back has it's benefits too.

This is probably pretty obvious to most people. Sometimes I need to be hit by a two by four to get it through my head.

To Your Success,

Heidi 😉

    26 replies to "Knowing when to step away"

    • Jennifer Jones

      Wow. This is so me. Thank you for being transparent and sharing. I too need this reminder. When we step back and breathe, we often come back with more appreciation.

      • Heidi Albertson

        Thank you for your comments and yes time to refresh and come back with more joy!!

    • Cheryl

      I can tell you're really struggling with these decisions but you know you have to follow your heart and do what you think is right. I loved reading your blog.

      • Heidi Albertson

        Thank you for your kinds words. You're right neither decision was easy.

    • Jeri Moore Brunton

      You sound like you do a lot for others because you enjoy it. The downtime will indeed invigorate and recharge you. Very open and honest.

      • Heidi Albertson

        You're right I really do enjoy doing things for others. It's one of the things that fills me up the most, but there is also a time I need to step back and refresh!!

    • Heidi, yes, sometimes we need to step back and cool off. A line stood out for me– "especially if they're just doing it to control me"– I wonder how often and how long they have been playing that game? I have loved ones who play such games, and I have to limit my time and interaction with them. And that's a shame, because if some people weren't so busy manipulating, they might actually get to know us, and then our relationships could be wholly different. So take a stand by standing back! And bless you!

      • Heidi Albertson

        Yes, I want our relationship to be healthy and it won't be if it's one sided. Thank you for your comments!

    • kateloving

      The pandemic has helped me to step away from most things, like cable news, or gossiping with friends. Now, in solitude and contemplation, I now know who I am.

      • Heidi Albertson

        Yes, I have learned a lot about myself this year. The forced time away from all the noise has been good, but it has also shown me how much I really love people and need them in my life!!!

    • Sarah

      Absolutely True!! Down time is sometimes so necessary!

    • Martha

      I too am always there to lend a hand but I've found sometimes when family is involved it's better to step back instead of having a confrontation.

      • Heidi Albertson

        You're so right. I love my family and I want our relationship to last the rest of our lives. We will get through this and move on.

    • Lily Leung

      I’m with you on stepping back sometimes. It’s hard to do though, not wanting to hurt people’s feelings. But I have only so much energy and time. I work at it a little at a time.

      • Heidi Albertson

        Thank you for your comment. It is a lesson I need to revisit often.

    • It is important to know when to take a break from something or someone. It doesn't always come easy to me either. But it sounds like you are making it work! Good post!

    • Nicki Sanders

      This is so common – whether many want to admit it or not. Like you, I am a natural helper and also like you I had to learn the value in taking off the Superwoman cape the hard way. It's a daily work in progress. I'm sure your transparency will help others free themselves.

      • Heidi Albertson

        Thank you for your kind words. Yes, taking off the Superwoman cape is necessary sometimes!!

    • Victoria Juster

      Sometimes people know things in their heart but don't know how to put it into words. We all need to establish healthy boundaries and your post will help a lot of people identify what their own needs may be. Good job!

      • Heidi Albertson

        Thank you so much for your comment. Healthy boundaries are a good thing for sure.

    • Marc Cohen

      Yes, I get it. In some ways it felt like you were describing me. After giving a lot of my time to others for their needs, I am now learning that my health and well-being need attention. Self care is important. If stepping away feels right, even just for a little bit, then do it. They'll be there for you if/when you decide to return. Best of luck.

      • Heidi Albertson

        Thank you so much for your response. I know they will be there and that is a comfort for sure.

    • Deb Andrews

      Heidi this is beautiful and so true. I am the same way. I love being there for family, friends, colleagues and I also have to gain some space for me. Thanks for sharing and letting me know I am not alone.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.